Some days I feel my light shining brighter than others.
When I was a kid I use to take my mothers hijabs and wrap them around my lamps to make the lighting in my room change colors. Today felt like one of those days. Still shining. Just a different color.
I pray for the misguided to find their way. And if it is really me who is misguided I pray for awareness.
Sometimes just a warm touch from someone you know wholeheartedly cares about you can do so much for your well being. I hug, kiss, touch, rub, and cuddle up with my friends every chance I get. I love them. And want them to know it. The warmth in closeness is unlike anything else. I wish I could have it all the time.
I’m not an easy person to get along with…or even like sometimes. I can be controlling. I can be bossy. I have a habit of only seeing things from my point of view. I can be manipulative. I can be careless and very restless…and just straight up mean sometimes.
I want the people who take the time to get to know me and love me how much it’s appreciated. I know it takes effort…
I work on these things everyday of my life…it’s hard. But if you’re in my life I know you’ve seen my struggle and progress. I’m still growing = ) Be patient with me please, I love you.
I’m emotionally a mess, feeling alone not sure what move to make. If I even have a move to make. I’ve worked so hard to get where I am and I continue to strive for my best but this life gets lonely. I get lonely. I’ve always been ‘that’ girl. The one that can handle anything but no one is there when my toughness is gone and I’m left to pick up the pieces from everyone who couldn’t handle their shit. Being put on the back burner has become all to familiar for me. But I’ll shake it off I always do and put a smile on my face and say ”it’s fine” even though it never is but I find a way to make it and eventually I move pass.